We all struggle with fear of the future because this world selfishly seeks one thing: control.  Although the ways we seek control differ, the root of our human-ness is this: I must plan and control my future.  Our DNA continuously replicates in this fallen world, ceaselessly pulling us into our brokenness.

Stepping back to look at the macroscopic picture of our lives in this universe, we realize just how helpless we truly are without the Great Helper.

Satan knows exactly how my mind dwells in second-guessing… in fear of making the wrong decision… and he uses this to steer me away from the Presence of my God.  He convinces me that perfection, to-do lists, plans, and success will give me the control that my soul desperately craves.

Not today, Satan, not today.

God put something heavy with joy on my heart yesterday that I shared with Instagram:

Let go of perfection. Let go of control. Let go of security. No automatic alt text available.

Cling to the hand of God. Cling to His provision. Cling to His Holy calling. Cling to His still, steadfast assurance. … and my weary heart must learn to repeat this… Anxiety only has power as long as you are holding onto it. 

Let go.

We weren’t made to perfectly hold the master plan. We we made to hold the Master Planner as He perfects us.

… And I needed to spend time with my occupational therapy self-reflection this morning.  The Lord softly reminded my heart what He intends to use in me.

Gandhi once stated, “whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.”  I can remember a specific moment in my life that would unknowingly foreshadow my future.  When I was in elementary school, all of the kids shifted into the “you’re retarded” phase.  I can specifically remember coming home outraged, confused, and shattered as I told my mom what they said.  I simply could not understand why calling someone “retarded” could be used in everyday language.  I do not have any direct family relationship to a person with a developmental disability, yet it has always been in my nature to nurture those with developmental or physical impairments.  At that seemingly insignificant moment in history, my heart would forever cling to helping those who may not always be able to help themselves.  As I progressed through school, I formed a passion for science and biology.  During my sophomore year of high school, I had to choose a focus area that I would graduate with; obviously I chose health science.  Choosing this path exposed me to different careers, and I ultimately found Occupational Therapy.  I was finally able to connect my life long passion to a future career.  From then on, I set my heart on Occupational Therapy school. 

Years later, as a senior in college, I sit anxiously awaiting something that has been building over a lifetime.  Two traits that have manifested throughout my college career are patience and empathy.  I have always been an extremely patient person, which I believe is one of the most essential characteristics of an occupational therapist.  From older generations to children, I have always had a different level of patience.  A trait that I have really grown into over the past year or two is empathy.  I have overcome a lot of obstacles in college, and have been humbled more than once.  Throughout this process of learning from failure, I have grown to truly feel people’s pain rather than just simply sympathize for them.  I have learned to hurt and grow with them.  I know that when I was in my lowest-lows of college, all I wanted was for someone to connect with me.  I believe my ability to feel alongside different populations will allow me to genuinely make a positive difference as an occupational therapist…

… One of the most important things that I want the admissions committee to know about me after reviewing my application is my genuine, down-to-earth love and devotion to the field.  I would never want to get into a school because my GPA is higher than someone else.  I want to be accepted because when looking at the macroscopic image of the past four years of my life, they can see that I simply want to find a way to help in this world.  From Camp Oginali to Trinity Hills Assisted Living, to Blount Memorial Outpatient Clinic, I have seen first-hand the impact we can make on the lives of others.  Occupational therapy is a career that gives someone purpose.  It takes the broken pieces and builds hope and possibility.  I truly, truly care about shining just one simple light.  Even at my young age, I have seen so much darkness in the world, and I view occupational therapy as my way to use my passion to shine a light.  I do not have a romanticized vision of turning the world upside down with joy and laughter; I simply want to make one person smile.  I want to help one person believe in him or herself.  I hope that my dedication in the classroom and out of the classroom reflects that.  Like I highlighted at the beginning of this summary, everything we do is insignificant in the world as a whole, but it is exponentially significant to the world we create around us. 

Calm our weary, vulnerable hearts, Lord Jesus.

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